Sunday, July 24, 2011

Testing. Testing. 1-2-3

Some times I hesitate sharing certain things "out loud" because I know as sure as I do I will be tested on it. I shouldn't be afraid of the tests because they keep me accountable for what I say and do but sometimes I am.


A few weeks ago I posted this about how faithful MY God is. He is, I believe that. Only now I'm being tested on whether or not I will walk in that truth.


Few things stress me our more than finances. I am the keeper of the finances in our house so I know when we have it and when we don't. When praying about whether or not I should quit my job our financial situation was a huge factor in that. I probably worked through our budget 10 times to see how it could work. I finally had it to where almost all our budget items would be covered. I was "willing" to trust God for the few things that weren't. As if I shouldn't trust Him for all of it anyway. Arrogant me. There was a certain amount of money I needed to make that would primarily cover our health insurance. We had insurance through my work so that has been our biggest challenge. After calling around and getting quotes we found one that I could afford to pay for and we went with it. At this point we felt great about me leaving my full time job and working part time so that's when we decided I would turn in my resignation letter.


This past Thursday I received a letter. It simply stated that we had been approved for insurance. Yea. That's great news. But wait, there's some not so great news. Our policy would cost us an EXTRA $300 a month more than what they told us. What?!?!?!?!?!?!?! How come no one told me this was a possibility?! Shouldn't they have mentioned this might happen when I first called about it?!?! My heart dropped when I read this. Anxiety immediately took over and I was stressed. VERY STRESSED. I sent out a text to my friends because I needed to share my stress.


I felt so hopeless. How on earth could we make this work? To be honest, I still don't know and I'm still stressed. BUT I do know that what I posted a couple of weeks ago is still true. Even though my situation changes God doesn't change. I keep telling myself that God knew this was going to happen. He knew the letter would come AFTER we had made the decision for me to quit and work part time. I have to wonder if that's because had I received the letter before I might have chickened out of leaving my job. I'm so glad I didn't know this was going to happen because I needed to leave my job. That was the right thing to do. And I am excited about my new job and being able to spend more time with Sadie. I know it's the right job for me.


So, now what?! I have no idea. I have no idea how this is going to work out. I have no idea how we're going to be able to afford health insurance. It seems impossible. What I do know is that Josh and I are going to do the best we can with what we have, I will probably start sewing again, maybe have a yard sale and sell everything we own, :) and trust that God will provide. I know He hasn't brought us this far only to abandon us now.

MY God IS Faithful.

13 comments:

Ashley said...

I feel you pain, girl! I am so, so sorry and I know just how stressful it is. But you are right, OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL and he will provide! I can't wait to see how He works it out! Praying for y'all! Love you!

Jillian said...

I'm praying for you!!

LittleGirlsX3 said...

I found your blog through Kelly's Korner and so glad I did! I am a SAHM of 3 girls and have been at home for over 10 years. On Friday, it was announced my husband's company was 'merging' with another. His job is our sole source of income and we are so scared about what the immediate future holds. Trying to hand it all over to God but it is a struggle. Thank you for sharing your story and the reminder that HE will provide for all of us!

Rebekah said...

I will be praying!!! GOD IS SOOOOO FAITHFUL and He hasn't brought you this far to leave you!

Kerri Dunsworth said...

I am praying for you! I am also a SAHM mom now to a one year old little boy. I lost my job when I was six months pregnant and I was also the insurance holder for our family. We had COBRA for a discounted price for a short time for all three of us but then at the beginning of the year, they said it would go up to over $1300! My husband found affordable insurance through Golden Rule, which is a United Healthcare company and it covers all of us. It has been such a blessing! You might want to check them out. We don't have vision or dental at the moment, but the health was what was most important to us at the time with a new baby.

GreenGirl said...

I tweeted you yesterday (I think) and when I was laid off last year, I knew I could not afford Cobra (ASTRONOMICAL) and one of my best friends told me to go on to www.ehealthinsurance.com (I swear this is not a paid plug for them and I may have given you the wrong link on my blackberry...but just double checked it and this is correct link!). I found a great insurance with dental included that was VERY affordable. IT gives you many options too that work for your family. Check it out. It saved me a TON!!

Tracey said...

All things in God are possible, not easy. Keep your head up and it will work out the way God intends it.

Amy said...

i just wanted to encourage you that HE can make the impossible, possible! i quit my job teaching when my little girl was 10 months old. when we worked out our budget, it just never seemed to make sense "on paper." i am also the keeper of our finances and i would stress about it daily. i hemmed and hawed about quitting, worrying myself sick over our money situation. i just couldn't get the numbers to add up, but deep in my heart, i knew that the Lord was calling me to stay home. When I finally made that step of faith, he rewarded our obedience! Our numbers still don't always add up "on paper" but thank God that HE always makes a way! As other commenters have said, and as you said yourself, HE hasn't brought you this far just to abandon you. Part of faith is following through - so hold tight to the promises that He has given you and follow through with your obedience, because you know that HE will follow through with keeping His word.

Kara said...

I am sort of there with you. I have decided to stay home this year (my baby is 15 months), my husband is a teacher, and our health insurance is $773 a month out of his check. I really don't know how we will do it either, but I am going to do it. I guess I will learn along the way. I have read your blog a few times. How do you budget? I have tried envelopes and categories with percentiles...and this month I was totally distracted and blew it big time! I can't do that! I keep up with the finances also. My biggest problem is keeping groceries and eating out under control. Thinking of you and hoping it works out.

Cindy said...

Why do we always question God when we know he will provide for us and in abundance. I am currently trying to document my thoughts of the last year and a half that has brought us our perfect twins. There were many days I didn't know if we would even get 1 baby and look at God he blessed us with two and this is our perfect family. Before we had them we thought twins were crazy how would we do it, but I see that Gods plan was way better than mine. I could not imagine a day without either of mine (they share a birthday with sweet Sadie). Stay faithful girl I know he will provide more that you could ever imagine

Livy said...

Reminds me of the old hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and the line "all I have needed Thy hand hath provided." Rest assured that the sparrows are taken care of and so are YOU! :)

mom2themonkeys said...

i just need to tell you that I needed to read this post today. Thank you for admonishing me and encouraging me all at the same time.

Steph said...

I found your blog through Kelly's Korner and I saw someone else posted about ehealthinsurance.com and I just wanted to say I went through them for my son's insurance when he turned two. It was great and I lowered his insurance from $360.00 a month to about $74. We have a deductible now but we figured it evened out with the money were saving if he did have to go to the hospital. They have a lot of different plans at different prices that you can choose from also. Hope this helps you out a little!