Friday, July 22, 2011

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage

Of all the Show Us Your Life posts I decided to join the fun for the week on marriage advice. Hmmm...well I've only been married for 2 years and 10 months so I'm not sure I have much to offer. I decided I would tell you about the people who have the biggest influence on my marriage right now (not including the LORD, that goes without saying for this post).


Obviously first would be Josh and I. We make or break this whole marriage thing. There has been a lot of learning on our parts these last few years. He and I are pretty stubborn and strong willed so it's been a challenge at times. The thing that keeps us both in check is simple...choose your battles. There is always going to be a battle of some kind. Some will be petty and some will be serious. Choose the ones you're willing to die for and let the other ones go. You can't win them all so choose wisely. :)


Another thing I think is important is to always assume the best in the other person. It's so easy to get your feelings hurt or misunderstand something your spouse does or says but if you assume the best instead of the worst you'll be better off.


This is just a random side note but one of my favorite parts of marriage is pillow talk. This doesn't happen for us often because we don't normally go to bed at the same time. A lot of times Josh will stay up on the computer doing church or seminary work while I go to sleep. Sometimes though when we do go to bed at the same time but aren't really tired we have the best conversations. I feel like I'm just hanging out with my best friend and there's a lot of comfort in that. If you don't ever have pillow talk you certainly should.

Ahhhh....this little love has had a huge impact on our marriage. Since she arrived there's a lot more insecurity and fear. Boo. Insecurity on our parts as parents and fear because we want to keep her protected and safe from everything. It's easy to nag at the other parent for doing this or not doing that. I don't recommend that. Once kids come into the picture your marriage needs to remain the most important relationship. I can tell how easy it is for us to get caught up in Sadie. We live and function based on her schedule and her rules. It is so important that we set her aside and take time for ourselves. After all Josh is my first love and Sadie is my second. I want to make sure my priorities reflect that.


Last but not least another very important person in our marriage...

Dave! We love Dave. He has made things a lot easier on us in marriage. They say that money is one of the leading causes for divorce. Josh and I read this book and did Financial Peace University within our first year of marriage and I am so thankful we did. There are no questions about where the money goes and who is spending it. It's all laid out, the rules have been set, and that is that. There really are no surprises on where our money is going. Dave helped us to get debt paid off, set up a budget, and save money. If you haven't read this book I encourage you to. It will change your life.
AND ALL YOU SINGLES OUT THERE:
Getting yourself financially disciplined is the #1 thing I'd tell you to do before getting married. You will have a happier spouse and less stress overall if you'll get your finances in order. Don't bring debt to the marriage but instead bring savings and good stewardship. I assure you it will be the best thing you have ever done!

12 comments:

Cristy said...

My husband is a doctor and I was telling him about next weeks show us your life (parenting advice) and you know what he said he tells patients: "they're going to be fine!" Maybe that can help some with Sadie's arrival? YES it's time consuming having the baby and suddenly you guys have less time together, but she will be FINE! Just take time to enjoy her and when she's down for naps, take time to enjoy each other!

Brittany said...

You marriage sounds sooo much like mine (minus the baby). I'm definitely going to keep David Ramsey's book on my "to read" list. Thank you!

Jennifer said...

LOVE this!! All so true!
I like to think of Dave as the 4th person in our marriage, God, Josh, me and Dave. :)

Kimberly said...

great advice!

Betsy said...

This was all such good advice! Great post! :)
PS-Yall are so cute!

Sarah @ The Strength of Faith said...

When my husband and I got married we spoke a different language when it came to money. I was in seminary at the time and money was tight and it was really stressful. We've been able to sit down over the past year or so and develop our own financial language - together! It's been great for us to both be involved in budgeting, bills and what our financial situation is.

Jillian said...

Great post!! Love pillow talk!

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

It's good to be on the same page when it comes to money. After 17 years of being with Big Daddy it does make our lives together run much smoother.
I'm also proud of our 19 year old son who has a fulltime job with a 401k. He's on his way towards a financially secure life.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

a great post and so true and I have 39 years experience....and what a sweet little one...

Lori Alexander said...

I love Dave Ramsey also. He is great. We've never had debt in our 30 years of marriage except for our home for awhile. It is a wonderful thing.

www.lorialexander.blogspot.com

Thomas and Jamie said...

We're a Dave family too! It has changed our marriage and our relationship completely and I'm so thankful for it!!!

♥Jess said...

Married for only 6 months, Dave was in our life prior to & will continue! We count on our envelopes!


I loved your advice. I'm doing a book study, "The Poticially Incorret Wife" & what I've been reading in this book {along with other books about a godly marriage} I'm seeing a lot of on this link-up. It warms my heart.

Just yesterday, I read about how these days Moms puts their children ahead. And how hard it is, however your husband is always first aside of GOD. I asboutely loved this chapter. We do not have children, yet however I always want to remember this. I highlighted it, dated it, and write {something I always want to remember}.


I loved your pillow talk answer. Just the other night, we had pillow talk for a good hour. It hasn't left my mind since. I keep thinking of how great it was.

Randomly running into this link-up, I feel it is a sign. I'm writing down yours and a few others {advice} and taking it to the next book study.

Thank you. I really enjoyed this.