I wrote this post on Thursday using my phone only to realize afterwards that Blogger was messed up. Although it said it "successfully posted" I think it's out there in cyber space never to be found. As annoying as it is, I will start over.
First of all thank you so much for the encouraging comments about my breast feeding/supplementing issues. I felt so much better after I heard from you all. It's a tough issue to deal with and I so needed the support you all gave me.
I feel like I should update you on how things are going. After my initial post I continued to do what I could to help my supply but unfortunately my supply got to a certain point and stopped. In fact, after a while it seemed to start drying up some on it's own. I decided a week and a half ago I was going to stop pumping but it took me a while to actually do it. I knew that since Sadie was getting more formula (a lot more) than breast milk it was no longer worth the stress of it.
It was hard for me to stop. I felt like a failure and I felt selfish for stopping. I wanted my baby to get breast milk and it wasn't working like I had hoped. I started getting a little bitter towards all the women who have no problems breast feeding. It didn't seem fair and it upset me. Then I snapped out if it and realized how blessed I am. I have a healthy baby girl and giving her formula is not a big deal. It doesn't define me as a mother. It doesn't mean she will grow up at a disadvantage or anything. There are people, moms, out there with real problems and my "issue" is nothing compared to what others deal with.
Having said all that, Sadie stopped receiving any breast milk this past Wednesday when she turned 4 weeks old. 4 weeks, that's how long I made it and for that I'm thankful.
We are currently trying to figure out the best formula for her. She has some real gas issues so we're working on that. We just say she is a windy baby. :) Other than that and the foul smell of formula it's been great.
Thanks again for everything. I hope we will all continue to encourage each other to be the best moms to our babies. All babies and moms are different
and what's right for some isn't right for others.
On a totally different note let me leave you with some pictures I took with my phone last week I call them, "Faces of the Boppy".
18 comments:
Hillary.....don't worry about a thing! You will have many decisions along the way that will be personal to you and Sadie and no one else.....part of great mothering is doing what YOU know to be best for her and her alone and do so in confidence. :)
You are a fabulous mother!!!!
Hillary, I found your blog through Kelly's and have been reading for awhile because we were pregnant at the same time. I had my baby girl on march 4th. Thank you so much for this post. The same thing happened to me and it feels really nice to know I'm not alone and someone else had the same feeling about it I did. Hope you and Sadie are doing well. :)
She is precious! I too have a Sadie who is now 5. I know it is so stressful to figure out what to do about breastfeeding. You are her momma and you know what is best for her better than anyone else. :)
"It doesn't define me as a mother." Well said Hilary! Too often we feel guilty for what we feel like are our failures. I had to stop nursing because I didn't produce enough too...it was a sad time. But looking back I see that I did the best I could. I'm glad you realize that now! I'll be praying for y'all! =]
I'm glad you decided to focus on the positive--you are SO blessed in SO many ways by Sadie's good health! Don't feel you are a failure, your little girl is receiving good nourishment and thriving, and that is what counts! That third picture of Sadie just cracked me up! Is it a real smile or just that gassy formula???? :-)
My lactation consultant told me " babies won't remember how or what they were fed but will always remember how they were loved.". That helped me so much through my bf struggles. My son was born on 3/7 and I also had to stop. You are a great mom!
You are such a great mom. I'm so thankful that you have been able to not talk down to yourself about not nursing. I have prayed for you on this. I've been there and don't wish those feelings on ANYBODY! There's so much more to mothering than what kind of milk (formula or breast) that a child receives. My son got my breast milk for the shortest period of time (around 4-6 weeks) and was the healthiest while the girls got it so much longer and had issues.
As for the kind of formula as the ped for a suggestion and sample so you're not spending so much "trying" what works. Be sure to not switch them too close together...and for some kids the ready to feed kind is easier on them than the powder. Good luck to you. Be prepared that her BMs might change too...sorry TMI.
Not that you're thinking about this right now or to make you think that I'm pushing this on you...but if you want to nurse any future children write to me and I can give you some ideas. They may or may not work but you can always write to me if you're interested. I didn't have the support with nursing my first and a good friend stepped up to the plate for my girls. I feel like it's me paying back the world for the help & encouragement she provided. I should mention that for various reasons all 3 of my children each got breast milk and formula at some point in their first year of life. Christi
I commend you for trying your very best and want you to know that how you feed your baby girl in no way defines what kind of mom you are. The effort you've shown so far has been incredible and that says so much more about who you are and your devotion to your baby. I have had terrible difficulties w/ breastfeeding all three of my daughters and it has been heartbreaking each time I've felt like I failed. But my children are healthy, intelligent and did fine on formula. Sadie will do fine too.
From my experience, it's always been tough to transition from breast milk or a breast milk / formula combination to strictly formula because they do get gassy and irritable for a few days to a week. Hang in there and she will get through it. The gas drops for infants might be your new best friend :)
Sadie looks a lot like you and is so cute!!
When my supply quit, I realized I too had to be thankful for the time I DID nurse. My daughter was gassy as well. We discovered that Member's Mark Gentle Formula (from Sam's Club) worked the best over all the name brands!! I was shocked because it was the cheapest I had found anywhere. Hope you find what works for Sadie!!
You are a great mom, Hillary!!
I'm glad things are going well for both you and Sadie! She is a precious doll and you are taking such good care of her!
The reason why a mother feels so much guilt and pressure is due to the "holier than thou" people who make mothers feel such terrible emotion during such a vulnerable time. For the life of me I can't understand why some choose to be so miserable. It is 2011....formulas are so advanced and full of nutrition. It is a solid choice when nursing does not work out. Moms need to stick together and encourage one another! We are in this together and working so hard to raise healthy and happy children!
Blessings to you all:)
My oldest is almost 6 years old. He was only nursed for 2 weeks due to supply issues. He has never had an ear infection, is very seldom sick in general. He's also very smart. I promise that Sadie will turn out wonderfully! The fact that you care is the reason why.
I will add that we found the Walmart brand, Parents Choice, to work the best for both of our boys. I did add gas drops to every other bottle for the first month or so while they adjusted to the switch and that seemed to help.
When I had my oldest we had the hardest time breastfeeding. Latch and supply issues didn't help matters. I felt so guilty and bad but looking back on that I beat myself up and it was just so unnecessary! I'm so glad you are at peace with your decision! That is what being a mom is about: making those hard choices and knowing what is best for you and baby. Good for you!
As far as the gas problems have you tried gas drops or gripe water? My first had a gassy tummy and Enfamil's Gentlease helped a ton. My second has severe tummy troubles and was later diagnosed with reflux. What saved our sanity and my daughter's tummy was baby Zantac (prescribed) as well as the hypoallergenic, more gentle (and more $$) formula Alimentum. Just some info from someone who has been there. Good luck and God bless!
Oops! Sorry about having to delete my comment...I was logged in on the wrong account again!
Oh...I totally know about that resentful feeling. :( It's natural to be frustrated when we have trouble doing something we are told is so "natural". I completely understand how you are feeling. I was a little sad when I gave Maggie the last ounce of breastmilk I had pumped...that was at about 3 weeks. But I know that she has had a great start getting ANY breastmilk at all! My almost-3-year-old is living proof that formula babies are just as smart and well-developed as breastfed ones. ;)
Continued success with your sweet Sadie girl!!
I had the same issues with breastfeeding and I felt like a failure too. As far as formula goes, both of my daughters had MAJOR fussiness and gas issues until they started on Enfamil Gentlease. It made the BIGGEST difference!!
You are so right - all babies and moms are different! And a sovereign God put you and Sadie together, and He gave you exactly what you need to mother her well. Keep up the good work, mama! (And good gracious, those faces are adorable!)
So proud of you. That is a hard decision. It is one of your first of thousands of times that you realize comparison takes on a whole new meaning as a mom! She is blessed by your heart... Not your ninnies:) love love
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