My Valentine

I wanted to post something for Valentine's Day but I wasn't sure what until I read Laurie's blog yesterday. I also want to share about my Valentine and how we met.

Before I go into the details let me give you some background on my relationship history. That won't take long because honestly there is no history. Before Josh I NEVER had an official "boyfriend." There were a few guys along the way I thought I might like but nothing ever really worked out. I was every one's friend and no one's girlfriend. After college as almost everyone of my friends started getting engaged I started getting depressed. Not only was I not engaged the possibility of love seemed so far out of my reach. It was something that happened to everyone else besides me. The LORD had favor on me though and provided me with great friends throughout the journey that could relate to where I was in life. We did lots of things as single girls and had the best time and made lasting memories. The only problem was slowly but surely they all started getting married too. As happy as I was each time a friend of mine got married the knots in my stomach were always there. The feeling that someone knocked the breath out of me was an unwelcomed companion. I just got used to it. I was at a point in my life where I believed that the Lord would change my desires to get married or he would fulfil them. I had to cling to that because it was the essence of my hope and its what kept me from growing crazy. I made a decision to "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

The fall of 2006 was a neat time for me. I started helping lead a college girl's bible through the BCM at the University of Arkansas. I loved being a part of such a fun group. Little did I know what all I'd get out of it. One Sunday afternoon in mid-November I got an e-mail from one of the girls in my bible study. She said she had a friend she wanted to see if I'd be interested in meeting. She helped with the youth at a church in Lamar at one time and she thought the youth pastor and I would be a good match. What single girl in their right mind doesn't say yes to something like that? It helped that she included a picture of him and I thought he was super cute. I actually thought he was probably out of my league but decided to see what happened. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this but our first communication was on Facebook. :) It was actually a great thing because I could learn a lot about him just from looking at his page. So we started talking through messages and then eventually he called me. Our first date was December 15, 2006. To say that it was love at first sight or that I knew he was the one from the beginning would be a lie. Honestly it took me a while. A lot of it was me trying to get over myself and just let the Lord do what the Lord wanted to do. Josh knew before I did that he wanted to marry me but it took me until November of 2007 to know that I wanted to marry him. I think a lot of it had to do with the idea that although I had always wanted to be married I never ever thought it would happen to me. I'm sure that was just a defense mechanism but it sure made it hard to have a successful relationship. Luckily I got over myself and on January 14th, 2008 I said "yes" to marry Josh. We were married on September 19, 2008.

Still to this day I will wake up and think to myself, "Is this for real? Am I really married?" I don't know why it is still hard for me to believe but it is. To want something so bad and to think I might not ever get it has kept me pinching myself. I say all of this for two reasons. One because I am so thankful the Lord answered my prayers and brought me a godly husband who adores me. I'll never deserve him. And two because I have several single friends, in real life and through blogs, that I pray God will answer prayers for as well. Sometimes I get down right angry because of all the great single ladies I know and how badly I want for them to be married. It doesn't make sense to me at all but I know God is good. I'm praying for hope for each and every person who wants to be married. I'm praying for peace throughout the waiting. And I'm praying God will bless your socks off. He delights in you!

So having said all that the only thing left to say is, I love you, Valentine!